MMO Crazy

So as many know. I am a rather large fan of the MMO World of Warcraft. I currently reside on the Horde side of the Ysera Server. My main character being Malvash the level 70 Holy Paladin.
I realized that I have been playing this game since the Winter of 2004. Now really if you think about it. That's a REALLY long time to be focused on a single game. Even with fairly large games. The most you would spend on them is say a few months before A. You get tired of it or B. you beat it and there's nothing new.
Yet honestly to me, WoW is really boring. Like.. REALLY REALLY boring at times. Being a support class, all I normally have to do is stand in the back and hit a few buttons so no one dies. And atleast until the new expansion comes out (most likely next fall) there wont be anything I haven't seen. And even when it does come out, really it wont be anything super spectacular are not part of the standard formula of kill this thing, get shinier stuff.
So why keep playing?
There isn't too much in terms of instant gratification towards the "End Game" Content. Things come at a slow pace.
I think its because it preys on my two weaknesses. I like good art direction, and I like social aspects of games.
If it doesn't have those two things, I won't even bother giving it a chance. For example, the new Age of Conan MMO has INFINITELY more to do in WoW. To the point where its a little overwhelming and ridiculous. But really there is no art direction to it at all. It's brown and butt ugly and I don't really care for it at all. I mean really. If you're going to make me play a game for the rest of my life. Atleast make it look interesting.
Secondly the social aspect. I like having other people to cheer me on and vice versa. Even something ridiculously meaningless like "Hey I got Blah Blah Blah finally!" and someone going GRATZ or GOOD JOB. Makes getting that said Blah Blah Blah so much more rewarding. I would much rather do something boring and get some gratitude then to get the Ultima Weapon in some random single player RPG, just because the only person who will know and care is me. I get it, I move on to the rest of the game.
So hopefully the future of MMO's will be a little shinier. Already improvements are being seen. Warhammer Online looks wonderful and I can't wait to try it out!

Zoo Zoo Zoo

So,

Just to get up to speed on life since I've been back in the grand 'ol blogosphere.

I have been hired on permanently at Hidden City Games.
I found a new lady friend (Michelle, more on that later)
And things have been lookin up pretty well. besides the constant barrage of bills.
So the first part of my crazy picture bonanza.
Pictures of my vacation a few weeks ago to to Pennsylvania.

Starting with Pictures of the Philadelphia Zoo

I'm Back!

Whaaaaat?!

Yeah, I decided to come back to the wide world of normal blogging.

www.noustigres.livejournal.com was never getting updated so I feel like going back to this one. I like it better for some reason or another.

I'll most likely be posting throughout today with a massive barrage of everything that's been happening lately.

Contemplating.

So my feelings about EVERYTHING at the moment.

I'm very indifferent.
I'm really really numb about everything.
Job, friends, life in general.

I really don't want to be though. I miss feeling passionate about something. ANYTHING!
My brain is going "you should be feeling ok now, it's fine I promise!"
But my heart is going "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

I really need to get started on everyone's Christmas presents.
God I don't even know what I'm doing for x-mas this year.
Everything is becoming really really awkward.

Also,

I kind of miss Livejournal now.

grass is greener as they say.

Watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I feel like it's the right thing to do for some reason.

I think misunderstanding is probably one of the most devastating things to any relationship.
As many of you know, I have recently broken up with someone of 4 years.
I believed our relationship was becoming stagnant.
We were to the point where both of us did not want to say anything just because it would cause uncomfort.
We fought over the same things for the past 4 years. We began a cycle of,

Hey we're ok.
Hey we're not ok.
Hey lets fight and yell and hate eachother for a week.

Rinse and repeat.

I feel like a horrible person for instigating this.
But I did what I felt was best for both of us.

Our main issues?

I am horribly insecure with myself. I take everything she says about me seriously. I felt demoralized by here because physical appearance, to be hip, is so high on her totem pole.
I also know and have been hospitalized for mental disorders. I have a system going. I know what my emotional limits are. And I know that if I cross that line, there is no turning back. I worked hard to become stable.
She knows my quirks on shutting myself off, she is simply not accepting of them.

If I get angry, I give people the silent treatment. I know I will say things I don't mean.
I know that I have to let go of things I care about quickly or i'll dig myself into a hole I can't get out of.

I am also an extremely uptight person. I don't like going out, I don't like drinking, crowded places make me nervous.
She was the complete opposite.
I have learned from my mistakes and i'm trying to be more outgoing.

I have tried to be civil in our transition.
But it's difficult because we both don't know what we're doing. Living under the same roof still doesn't help either.
For the first time in my life..

I really don't know what to do.

splash

awesome way to start the morning.

A jerk decided it would be really nice of him to drive through a puddle next to me and get my left side all wet.
and I forgot to grab something for lunch!

bleh.